I’ve always had a flare for creativity. When I was a child I would spend hours choreographing my own little dance routines to perform for my parents. Growing up I enjoyed crafting, cooking, and creative writing.
The problem was that somewhere along the way I believed a lie that said creativity wouldn’t make me valuable, that being artistic wouldn’t pay the bills. So I put those passions in a box labeled “childhood” only to pull them out on occasion calling them “hobbies.”
I began to strive for education, administration, and organization (none of which are my primary giftings) and as I wore myself out little by little I longed for the days of my youth, when I could be me, freely.
I found Christ as a teenager but I found His freedom as an adult. In my 10 plus years of following hard after Him, He’s begun to open my heart to those passions I had long since brushed aside. Learning how to live into my creativity has been a wonderful journey.
God has allowed me to experience new levels of freedom and is teaching me how to love myself (this is coming from a woman with a history of insecurity and self-hatred…but that’s for another post on another day).
Imagine this with me: You are sitting in front of God Himself. He knows everything about you, things you like and things you’d like to forget, as you look up into His eyes you see a beaming Father, full of pride and love! “You are perfect,” He says to you, over you. “You are perfect to me!” This is what I’ve found in Jesus! In His acceptance there is refreshment and life and ease of spirit. In our Savior there is freedom!
Today I strive, not after works, but after Jesus. I’m a self-proclaimed freedom chaser longing to fill my life with unexplained hope and joy, and I desire to bring others with me on that journey. Because life is unexpected and unpredictable and messy and ugly more times than not, and it’s easy to get lost in our circumstances but we must strive to remember that beaming Father!
You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise, you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down, you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there, if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you, the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made, your works are wonderful, I know that full well. -Psalm 139:14 NIV
So if you’re anything like me, if you struggle with insecurity or people pleasing or maybe just self hatred, know that there is someone who loves and accepts you. Someone who created you to be perfectly you! Look to him for your identity.