Why Passion Consumes Our Thoughts and Confuses Our Hearts
July 24, 2018
I’ve found myself in this place of limbo. As a new mom I’ve felt thrust into a season of change that I didn’t expect, and I don’t think I really could have prepared for.
During the last year I’ve wrestled with all kinds of emotions. Sadness at the loss of who I knew as “myself,” feelings of loss for dreams I’d once thought were right around the corner that now had to be sidelined. Doubt at whether I’d find my “self-worth” as anything other than a mother… Then there’s that nagging ache of constantly dying to my own flesh and desires day in and day out, longing for a day that isn’t filled with diaper changes and vacuuming up crumbs. Wracking my brain to find new ways to appease a finicky toddler.
Recently, I listened to a sample portion from a motivational speech on Instagram, it was short sound clip where the speaker said something that is in no way new to the framework of our generation…. She said it’s not always about being the best or most successful person out there, but that this life is about finding something we are passionate about, something that we love doing.
While I agree with the first part of that thought, as I listened I began to sense the Lord stirring this response in me…
Some seasons call us into finding contentment and passion where we are, not where we’d like to be. The lie our generation is listening to is that we ALWAYS need to be in an area of passion. But what happens when we’re not? We become complacent. We complain, we blame, we become lethargic or depressed.
My issue with this thought process, this mantra almost, is that the emphasis is on us enjoying our life.
Don’t stop reading here, bear with me for a moment longer!
I don’t know about you but my life has not always been enjoyable. In fact I’ve been through some seasons of serious hardship. I’ve watched friends and loved ones walk through deep valleys of sadness and heartbreak.
I think if we are honest with ourselves we have to admit that this life is not about enjoyment. Especially as Christians, we know that this world is not our home.
“For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come.” -Hebrews 13:14
Before I became pregnant I longed for a child. I would hope and dream and pray about the day when I would get to be a mom. When we became pregnant and had our precious baby girl I was overjoyed. I still am. But this season is not what I expected. It’s different, it’s hard.
It pushes me to my boundaries of comfort and keeps pushing.
It’s forced me to wrestle with desires I didn’t know I had and its caused me to confront lies and sin I didn’t know were there. This season of motherhood is not going to end anytime soon, and it is of no benefit to me or my family to try and hurry it along.
So what do we do when we find ourselves in seasons that aren’t exactly what we’d hoped for? Or seasons that we don’t want to be in?
This is what I know. God has put me in this season for a purpose, and he’s put you where you are for a purpose. Whether we find ourselves passionate about the circumstances of our lives or not, its time for us to go to God about what we should be focusing on.
Because one thing I can say for certain is if we are constantly running toward passion or happiness or fill in the blank we will rarely find it. And if we find it, it will be fleeting.
Friends, we must resolve to run toward Jesus and as we do the rest will fall into place.